today i’ve been very much in my head and scatterbrained. i’ve been trying to live mindfully, focusing on my breathing and whatever i’ve been doing, but eventually almost by like a pull of gravity i end up in my head again, lost in a myriad of thoughts. the feeling of the need to impress people keeps arising at random too. not a bad thing, but i wonder it’s trying to teach me. this is interesting cos last week i was pretty much the opposite, living in my body with full awareness conquering fears and getting shit done.
is this shift in polarity meant to bring balance, living at opposite ends of the spectrum until i meet myself in the middle and remained centered? internally it feels like im being asked “so what do you wanna do?” and i have to make a choice (or commitment) soon as far as a soldiifed direction in my life goes, so it would make sense why my head is clouded with so many questions.
blehhhh i’ve got deadlines for shit i wanna finish so i can move on with my life.
this week is going to be a turbulent one.